Winter Whites

May 26, 2011

My whites are in the laundry right now. I always loved laundry: the sense of cleanliness, the smell of detergent, the gentle hum of machines rocking, the mindlessness of a process that must be repeated on a weekly basis, and the generally slow pace of waiting for the clothes to wash and dry. It was a respite from a hectic week, but one that felt fulfilling and with purpose. No guilt for this moment.

When I was young, I would crack off the fattest icicles from beneath the dryer vent at the side of the house. They were as thick as a bat and far heavier. The perfect weapon for the perfect snowy day. The swish of snow-pants and my breath visible in the brittle air promised valorous explorations in the waist-deep snows.

Place the following words on a scale between the words “terrorist” and “soldier” based on affinity: Weapon, warrior, killer, murderer, Muslim, Christian, insurgent, God, effective, courage…

Getting Art

May 26, 2011

I’m pretty sure I just don’t “get” a lot of art. I cannot speak meaningfully about it. I have no frame of reference with which to observe it. I’m on the fence about whether this is a good or a bad thing.

Mental Rust

May 25, 2011

I’ve started writing again at the encouragement of my parents, which embarrasses the hell out of me. I should be able to recognize and pursue those things that I truly love, right? I’m not sure it’s because I don’t really love writing, or if I am merely weak of will. The sentence from the photograph this afternoon took 4 or 5 tries to get to the way it is and I think it sounds pretentious. It’s too much of a knock-off of William Gibson (whom I adore). I really need work.

Wall Photography

May 25, 2011

A wall of flickering branches cast from day’s dying rays, like hidden visions shivering monochrome on medical screens.

Attempted Narrative 1

May 25, 2011

Alone I walked.

Re-surfacing

May 25, 2011

I can’t believe it’s been six days since I wrote that first line.

I realized just now that I enjoy being the devil’s advocate and a pundit about things I don’t fully understand. And I’m pretty good at it.

Surfacing

May 19, 2011

I’m scared. I don’t want to die and I don’t know what to do if I don’t.